We think we have to fight… No we don’t have to. We just have to help each other love ourselves.

As children we might have been raised in a harsh family, and we learned to tune in to mommy and daddy’s feelings, to survive, might they be angry at us. We learned to stuff down our feelings because we were told they were unacceptable, worst that they might bother people.

When we keep that as an adult, we might pick up how other people feel and have no idea how we feel and what our needs are. We can learn assertiveness, which is admiting to ourselves first how we feel, then sharing these feelings with others while owning them and making no accusation, and taking the responsability to answer to our needs. This means sometimes asking for help and accepting help when offered.

We can learn to heal the aggressive and passive-aggressive ways to vent our feelings, by learning to be honest with ourselves about how we truly feel. It starts with us.